I’m thinking most witches just want to be understood. The opening just said “immortal,” it didn’t say he was Wolverine. While tethering Kaulder to various prisons, Belial points out, “it’s easy to get in a bar fight when you can’t die.” Hey yeah, it is! Not only that, Kaulder can snap and unsnap his bones to lose handcuffs. The witch bar offered up a new villain, Belial ( Ólafur Darri Ólafsson, who has a few more accents in his name than his Connecticut birth would suggest). Nice to give Kaulder a playmate for a spell - eight hundred years of mourning? Probably long enough. I swear for half the film I thought it was Isla Fisher … but that can’t be Isla parts her hair on the other side). Eight hundred years of impaling demons has taught him a thing or two so he uses these two things he’s been taught to find witch bar owner Chloe ( Rose Leslie. Suddenly, Dolan #36 “dies” – nobody ever dies for real in films like this – and Kaulder knows something is afoot. Isla Fisher Rose Leslie - ok, I suppose they don’t look THAT much alike. The Dolan acts as his theological agent or something: “Kaulder, babe, just do this side job in Jersey City and I swear you’ll work Broadway again in no time.” So Vinny infiltrates houses of evil with flaming swords, magic spells and that intuitive Vin Diesel knowhow we all love. The Dolan appears to be some sort of religious Witch Hunter handler, handing down the generational Vin instructions (Don’t get him wet, don’t feed him after midnight, etc.) from one Dolan to another. Destined to fight evil magic doers for eternity, Vin pre-Diesel becomes The Last Witch Hunter.Įight hundred years later, Kaulder switches Dolan #36 ( Michael Caine) for Dolan #37 ( Elijah Wood). When Kaulder and his hair stop this madness, oooooo Witchy Woman curses him with eternal life, albeit not eternal hair. Unfortunately, there’s little time for Kaulder (Diesel) to enjoy his hair as evil Witch Queen ( Julie Engelbrecht) has killed his family as a precursor to destroying all of mankind. Trying out his new WWE look as Thog the Philistine, medieval Vin collects hair as if the concept of wearing some is both foreign and exciting – “wow! Look at what you can do with it!” He’s like a 3D version of one of those magnetic Wooly Willy toys. Hairy Vin Diesel! Did you see that coming? I didn’t.

The last witch hunter 2 rose leslie